Mixed…

To be honest praying has not been something I have relied on. Yet lately it seems many people feel it’s the only thing they have left. And well, maybe, it helps. For this wonderful man, it’s how he showed up and I for one thank him immensely for it.

These are times of mixed emotions. That’s where we are today. My son is in southeast Asia, in a touristy place. “It’s beautiful,” he said. “But it’s also…mixed.” He went on to describe the plastic pollution (which is everywhere and a disgrace considering the wealth of money brought in via tourism) and the poverty. We discussed it in depth.

Mixed is the exact word for how I feel and many others feel as well. Maybe second to exhaustion. While we may feel that raising our voices isn’t working I have to disagree. If it wasn’t for the millions working everyday against this fascist regime that is trying to take over our country, it would have completely succeeded by now. But our resistance has kept them at bay…somewhat. We must continue to raise our voices and rise up no matter what mixed emotions about our success we may have.

This Friday our corner standing group is moving our standing inside. Most of us are older and this cold is not good for our health. We won’t be worth anything if we’re all sick. We have mixed feelings about this. Defeat? Flexible? Realistic? Mixed feelings.

As I continue to sit here (Day 11) recuperating from a bad cold and infection I have mixed feelings. Not mixed feelings on what I witnessed in Juarez, Mexico. It’s clear what those feelings are. Disgust, shame, anger, sadness. My mixed feelings are on how to move forward in a way that matters. Often we parents and teachers work with our children who struggle to be heard. We advise them, “You can’t control how others will receive your message but you still need to say what you think and feel.” So that’s what we will continue to do. We will continue to speak up and rise up no matter how unsuccessful we feel our messages are being received. Otherwise we will shrivel up inside and decline into a spiral of hopelessness. And to do that means they win.

So reach out. Find others who want to work like you do. Join hands and voices, and continue to share our messages no matter how mixed our feelings about our success may be.

In solidarity at this critical time in our country’s history,

Mary